Introduction
The influence of celebrities on society, particularly as role models for young people, is a recurring theme in IELTS Writing Task 2 examinations. This topic has appeared consistently in recent years across test centers worldwide, reflecting its relevance in modern society where celebrity culture dominates social media and traditional media platforms. Understanding how to approach this topic effectively can significantly boost your writing score.
Table Of Contents
- Introduction
- Question & Analysis
- Band 8-9 Sample Essay
- Band Score Analysis
- Band 6.5-7 Sample Essay
- Band Score Analysis
- Direct Comparison with Band 8-9
- Band 5-6 Sample Essay
- Band Score Analysis
- Learning from Mistakes
- How to Improve from Band 6 to 7
- Essential Vocabulary for This Topic
- High-Scoring Sentence Structures
- 1. Complex Subordination with Concessive Clauses
- 2. Non-Defining Relative Clauses with Complex Ideas
- 3. Participle Phrases for Sophisticated Cause-Effect
- 4. Cleft Sentences for Emphasis
- 5. Advanced Conditionals (Mixed and Inverted)
- 6. Nominalization for Academic Tone
- Self-Assessment Checklist
- Before Writing (5 minutes)
- While Writing (35 minutes)
- After Writing (5 minutes)
- Time Management Tips
- Conclusion
In this comprehensive guide, you’ll discover three complete sample essays representing Band 8-9, Band 6.5-7, and Band 5-6 levels, along with detailed scoring analyses that explain exactly what examiners look for at each band. You’ll also learn essential vocabulary, high-scoring sentence structures, and practical strategies to improve your writing performance.
Recent authentic IELTS Writing Task 2 questions on this topic include:
- “Some people believe that famous people have a responsibility to be role models for the young. Others argue that celebrities should be free to live their own lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.” (Reported: September 2023, Academic Module)
- “To what extent do you agree or disagree that celebrities have an obligation to act as positive role models for society?” (Reported: June 2023, General Training Module)
- “Many young people admire celebrities as role models. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?” (Reported: March 2023, Academic Module)
This topic connects closely with broader discussions about the influence of celebrities on public behavior, which examines how famous individuals shape societal norms and expectations.
Question & Analysis
Some people believe that famous people have a responsibility to be role models for the young. Others argue that celebrities should be free to live their own lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Question Type: Discussion + Opinion (also known as “Discuss both views and give your opinion”)
Key Terms Explained:
- Famous people/celebrities: Public figures including entertainers, athletes, influencers, and media personalities
- Responsibility: A moral or ethical obligation, not necessarily a legal one
- Role models: Individuals whose behavior and achievements serve as examples for others to emulate
Common Pitfalls:
- Only discussing one viewpoint instead of both
- Failing to clearly state your own opinion
- Providing an opinion that contradicts the discussion
- Using only entertainment celebrities while ignoring athletes, business leaders, or social media influencers
Strategic Approach:
- Structure: Introduction → First view (paragraph 2) → Second view (paragraph 3) → Your opinion (paragraph 4) → Conclusion
- Balance: Dedicate roughly equal attention to both viewpoints
- Opinion placement: Can be stated in the introduction and developed fully in paragraph 4
- Examples: Use specific, relevant examples for each viewpoint

Band 8-9 Sample Essay
Characteristics of Band 8-9 Writing:
Band 8-9 essays demonstrate sophisticated vocabulary usage, complex grammatical structures with minimal errors, clear progression of ideas with skillful cohesion, and fully developed arguments that address all parts of the task with precision and nuance.
The question of whether celebrities bear a responsibility to serve as exemplary figures for younger generations, or should instead enjoy personal freedom without such obligations, has sparked considerable debate. While both perspectives hold merit, I believe that the influence wielded by public figures carries with it an inherent duty to demonstrate positive values, though this should not completely eliminate their right to privacy.
Those who argue that famous individuals should act as role models emphasize the profound impact these figures have on impressionable young people. Children and teenagers often idolize celebrities, unconsciously adopting their behaviors, speech patterns, and attitudes. When sports stars like Marcus Rashford use their platform to campaign against child poverty, or musicians like Taylor Swift speak openly about mental health struggles, they can normalize important conversations and inspire positive change. Furthermore, celebrities actively benefit from public support—their fame translates directly into financial success through endorsements and media deals. This symbiotic relationship suggests that accepting some responsibility for their influence is a reasonable expectation.
Conversely, opponents contend that celebrities are fundamentally ordinary people who happen to excel in particular fields, and should not be burdened with the unrealistic expectation of perfection. They argue that famous individuals deserve the same freedom to make mistakes, express controversial opinions, and live authentically as anyone else. Imposing role model status upon them creates immense psychological pressure and may force them to suppress their genuine personalities. Additionally, parents and educators—not entertainers or athletes—should bear primary responsibility for shaping young people’s values and character development.
In my view, while celebrities certainly deserve personal freedom and should not be held to impossibly high standards, they cannot completely disregard their influence on society. Fame comes with a platform, and with that platform comes at least a minimal responsibility to avoid glorifying harmful behaviors such as substance abuse, violence, or discrimination. This doesn’t mean celebrities must be perfect, but rather that they should demonstrate basic ethical awareness. When discussing social media influencers and role models, we see how modern platforms have amplified the reach and impact of famous individuals, making thoughtful consideration of their influence even more crucial.
In conclusion, although celebrities should retain personal autonomy and the right to make mistakes, their substantial influence on young audiences creates a legitimate expectation that they will, at minimum, refrain from actively promoting destructive behaviors. Striking this balance between personal freedom and social responsibility represents the most pragmatic approach to celebrity influence in contemporary society.
(Word count: 419)
Band Score Analysis
| Criteria | Band | Justification |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 9 | Fully addresses all parts of the task with a clear position throughout. Presents, extends, and supports both viewpoints with relevant, specific examples (Rashford, Swift) and develops a nuanced personal opinion that acknowledges both perspectives while maintaining consistency. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 9 | Ideas progress seamlessly with sophisticated cohesive devices (“Conversely,” “Furthermore,” “In my view”). Clear paragraphing with each paragraph containing one central idea. Logical flow from discussion to opinion without any confusion. |
| Lexical Resource | 9 | Wide range of sophisticated vocabulary used naturally and precisely (“inherent duty,” “impressionable,” “symbiotic relationship,” “disregard their influence”). Rare minor errors. Effective use of less common lexical items and collocations with full flexibility and precision. |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 9 | Wide range of complex structures used accurately and flexibly (non-defining relative clauses, participle phrases, conditional structures). Error-free sentences with only extremely rare slips that do not impede communication. |
Why This Essay Excels:
-
Sophisticated thesis statement: The introduction presents a clear position while acknowledging complexity: “the influence wielded by public figures carries with it an inherent duty to demonstrate positive values, though this should not completely eliminate their right to privacy.”
-
Specific, relevant examples: Rather than generic references, the essay cites Marcus Rashford’s child poverty campaign and Taylor Swift’s mental health advocacy, demonstrating real-world knowledge.
-
Nuanced argumentation: The essay avoids absolute positions, instead presenting a balanced view that celebrities have “minimal responsibility” rather than complete freedom or perfect behavior.
-
Advanced cohesive devices: Uses sophisticated transitions like “Conversely,” “Furthermore,” and “Additionally” that show clear relationships between ideas without being mechanical.
-
Lexical sophistication: Phrases like “symbiotic relationship,” “impressionable young people,” and “normalize important conversations” demonstrate advanced vocabulary used naturally.
-
Complex grammar with accuracy: Successfully employs structures like “When sports stars… use their platform to campaign,” “those who argue,” and conditional phrases without errors.
-
Clear position throughout: The writer’s opinion is evident from the introduction through to the conclusion, maintaining consistency while exploring both viewpoints thoroughly.
Band 6.5-7 Sample Essay
Characteristics of Band 6.5-7 Writing:
Band 6.5-7 essays show good control of grammar and vocabulary with some sophistication, present relevant main ideas that are extended and supported, demonstrate clear overall progression with effective cohesive devices, though some aspects may be under-developed compared to Band 8-9.
The debate about whether celebrities should be role models for young people or should be allowed to live freely without this responsibility is an important topic in modern society. Both sides have valid arguments, and I will discuss them before giving my personal opinion.
On one hand, many people think that famous people have a duty to set a good example for young people. This is because celebrities have a lot of influence on children and teenagers who often look up to them and try to copy their behavior. For example, if a famous football player promotes healthy eating and regular exercise, many young fans will follow this positive lifestyle. Additionally, celebrities earn a lot of money and fame from their fans, so it is fair that they should give something back to society by being good role models. The relationship between the influence of sports celebrities on youth behavior demonstrates how powerful this impact can be, particularly in shaping young people’s attitudes toward physical activity and teamwork.
On the other hand, some people argue that celebrities are just normal people who should have the freedom to live their lives as they want. They believe that being famous in one area, such as sports or entertainment, does not mean that person should be responsible for teaching values to young people. This responsibility should belong to parents and teachers instead. Furthermore, expecting celebrities to be perfect all the time creates too much pressure on them and is unrealistic because everyone makes mistakes sometimes.
In my opinion, I believe that celebrities should accept some responsibility to be positive role models, but they should not be expected to be perfect. Because they have such a strong influence on young people, especially through social media today, they should try to avoid promoting harmful behaviors like drug use or violence. However, they should also be allowed to have a private life and make some mistakes like everyone else. The key is finding a balance between their influence and their personal freedom.
In conclusion, while I understand both perspectives, I think that celebrities do have a responsibility to consider their impact on young audiences, although this does not mean they must be perfect in every aspect of their lives. Parents and schools should also play their part in teaching children to think critically about the celebrities they admire.
(Word count: 409)
Band Score Analysis
| Criteria | Band | Justification |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 7 | Addresses all parts of the task with a clear position. Main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, though development is less sophisticated than Band 9. The football player example is somewhat generic compared to specific names in the Band 9 essay. |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 7 | Clear progression throughout with appropriate paragraphing. Uses cohesive devices effectively (“On one hand,” “Additionally,” “Furthermore”) though with less sophistication than Band 9. One central idea per paragraph is maintained clearly. |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 | Sufficient range of vocabulary for the task with some flexibility (“look up to them,” “give something back,” “think critically”). Some less common items attempted (“unrealistic,” “promotes”) but lacks the precision and sophistication of Band 9 vocabulary. Some repetition (“young people” appears frequently). |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 7 | Mix of simple and complex sentence forms used with good control. Some complex structures attempted successfully (“if a famous football player promotes,” “expecting celebrities to be perfect”). Errors are rare and do not impede communication. |
Direct Comparison with Band 8-9
Introduction Comparison:
- Band 8-9: “The question of whether celebrities bear a responsibility to serve as exemplary figures for younger generations, or should instead enjoy personal freedom without such obligations, has sparked considerable debate.”
- Band 6.5-7: “The debate about whether celebrities should be role models for young people or should be allowed to live freely without this responsibility is an important topic in modern society.”
Difference: The Band 8-9 version uses more sophisticated vocabulary (“bear a responsibility,” “exemplary figures,” “sparked considerable debate”) and more complex sentence structure.
Example Specificity:
- Band 8-9: Names specific celebrities (Marcus Rashford, Taylor Swift) with concrete examples of their actions
- Band 6.5-7: Uses generic examples (“a famous football player”) without specific names
Difference: Band 8-9 demonstrates wider knowledge and makes arguments more compelling with real-world references.
Cohesive Device Sophistication:
- Band 8-9: “Conversely,” “Furthermore,” “In my view,” “This symbiotic relationship suggests”
- Band 6.5-7: “On one hand,” “Additionally,” “On the other hand,” “In my opinion”
Difference: Band 8-9 uses more varied and sophisticated linking phrases that show precise relationships between ideas.
Vocabulary Range:
- Band 8-9: “inherent duty,” “impressionable,” “normalize important conversations,” “symbiotic relationship”
- Band 6.5-7: “look up to them,” “give something back,” “creates too much pressure,” “think critically”
Difference: Band 8-9 uses more precise, academic, and less common vocabulary naturally, while Band 6.5-7 relies more on common phrases.
Position Clarity:
- Band 8-9: Position is clear from introduction and developed with nuance throughout
- Band 6.5-7: Position is stated clearly but with less sophistication in the balance between competing ideas
Difference: Band 8-9 demonstrates more nuanced thinking about the complexity of the issue.
Band 5-6 Sample Essay
Characteristics of Band 5-6 Writing:
Band 5-6 essays address the task but may not fully develop all aspects, show adequate range of vocabulary and grammar for the task though with noticeable errors, and demonstrate organization though progression may not always be clear.
Nowadays, many celebrities are very famous and young people like to follow them. Some people think celebrities should be good role models but other people think they should live their own life freely. I will discuss both opinion and give my view.
First, celebrities should be role models because many young people watch them and want to be like them. If celebrities do good things, young people will learn good things too. For example, when famous singer donate money to poor people, fans will learn to help others. Also, celebrities become rich and famous because of their fans, so they should be responsible to their fans. When celebrities show bad behavior like taking drugs or fighting, it can make bad influence to children who watch them.
However, some people believe celebrities should have freedom to live how they want. They think that celebrities are just normal people who are good at singing or sports, they are not teachers. The parents and teachers should teach children about good behavior, not celebrities. Also, it is very difficult for celebrities to be perfect all the time because everyone make mistakes. If we always expect them to be perfect, they will feel too much stress and pressure. Questions about should celebrities have privacy rights in public show how complex this issue has become in modern society, where famous individuals struggle to maintain any personal boundaries.
In my opinion, I think celebrities should try to be good role models especially for young people because they have big influence. But I also think they can have privacy and make some mistake. They should not promote bad things like violence or drugs but they can have their personal life. Parents should also teach their children to not copy everything from celebrities.
To conclude, celebrities have influence on young people so they should be responsible for their behavior. But they also need freedom to live their life. Both celebrities and parents should work together to help young people grow up well.
(Word count: 348)
Band Score Analysis
| Criteria | Band | Justification |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 6 | Addresses all parts of the task though some aspects are covered more fully than others. Position is present but could be clearer and more developed. Examples are relevant but generic (“famous singer donate money”). |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 5.5 | Organisation is apparent with some use of cohesive devices (“First,” “However,” “Also”) but not always appropriately. Some progression of ideas though not always clear. Repetition of “young people” and “celebrities” affects cohesion. |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 | Limited but adequate range of vocabulary for the task. Attempts less common vocabulary (“influence,” “promote,” “privacy”) but with some inaccuracy. Some repetition and inappropriate word choice (“both opinion” should be “both opinions”). |
| Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 5.5 | Mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Frequent grammatical errors that sometimes reduce clarity (“everyone make mistakes” should be “everyone makes mistakes,” “bad influence” should be “a bad influence”). Some complex structures attempted with limited success. |
Learning from Mistakes
| Mistake | Error Type | Correction | Explanation |
|---|---|---|---|
| “both opinion” | Noun number agreement | “both opinions” | After “both,” plural nouns must be used because “both” indicates two or more items. The singular “opinion” is grammatically incorrect here. |
| “everyone make mistakes” | Subject-verb agreement | “everyone makes mistakes” | “Everyone” is a singular pronoun (meaning “every single person”) and therefore requires a singular verb form “makes,” not the plural “make.” This is a common error with indefinite pronouns. |
| “celebrities become rich” | Article omission | “celebrities become rich” OR “the celebrities become rich” | While technically acceptable, adding “the” before “celebrities” would clarify whether discussing celebrities in general or specific ones. In this context, no article works better for the general statement. |
| “make bad influence” | Article + collocation error | “have a bad influence” | The correct collocation is “have an influence on” or “exert an influence on,” not “make influence.” Additionally, “influence” requires an article (“a” or “an”) when used as a countable noun in this context. |
| “donate money” | Tense consistency | “donates money” | When used after “when” in a general statement about repeated or habitual actions, the present simple tense should be used. “When famous singers donate” (plural) or “when a famous singer donates” (singular) would both be correct. |
| “it can make bad influence to children” | Preposition error | “it can have a bad influence on children” | The correct preposition with “influence” is “on,” not “to.” We say “influence on someone,” meaning affecting them. This is a fixed collocation in English. |
| “make some mistake” | Noun number | “make some mistakes” | “Some” is used with plural countable nouns or uncountable nouns. Since “mistake” is countable, it must be plural: “mistakes.” The singular would require “a mistake” instead. |
How to Improve from Band 6 to 7
1. Develop More Specific Examples
- Band 6: “when famous singer donate money to poor people”
- Improved: “when celebrities like Marcus Rashford campaign for free school meals or donate to food banks”
- Why: Specific names and concrete actions make arguments more persuasive and demonstrate wider knowledge
2. Reduce Grammatical Errors
- Focus on subject-verb agreement with third person singular (he/she/it/celebrity + verb+s)
- Practice article usage (a/an/the or no article)
- Review tense consistency in each paragraph
- Use grammar-checking tools and read academic texts to internalize correct patterns
3. Expand Vocabulary Range
- Band 6: “good things,” “bad things”
- Improved: “positive behaviors,” “harmful conduct,” “constructive actions”
- Strategy: Keep a vocabulary journal of topic-specific words and practice using them in context
4. Improve Cohesion
- Band 6: Repetitive use of “young people,” “celebrities”
- Improved: Use pronouns (they, them, these individuals) and synonyms (famous figures, public personalities, role models)
- Strategy: Before writing, list synonyms for key terms you’ll use frequently
5. Develop Paragraph Structure
- Each body paragraph should have: Topic sentence → Explanation → Example → Link to question
- Current issue: Some paragraphs jump between ideas
- Improvement: Plan each paragraph’s single main idea before writing
6. Strengthen Your Position
- Band 6: “I think celebrities should try to be good role models… But I also think they can have privacy”
- Improved: “While celebrities should maintain awareness of their influence, demanding perfection infringes unreasonably on their personal autonomy”
- Why: More sophisticated language and clearer reasoning show higher-level thinking
Essential Vocabulary for This Topic
| Word/Phrase | Type | Pronunciation | Definition | Example Sentence | Useful Collocations |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| role model | noun phrase | /rəʊl ˈmɒdl/ | A person whose behavior serves as an example for others | “Athletes often serve as role models for aspiring young sports players.” | positive/negative role model, act as a role model, serve as a role model |
| impressionable | adjective | /ɪmˈpreʃənəbl/ | Easily influenced due to youth or lack of experience | “Impressionable teenagers may adopt harmful behaviors they see celebrities display.” | impressionable age, impressionable minds, highly impressionable |
| idolize | verb | /ˈaɪdəlaɪz/ | To admire or love someone excessively | “Many children idolize celebrities without understanding their flaws.” | idolize celebrities, blindly idolize, idolize someone’s behavior |
| wielding influence | verb phrase | /wiːld ˈɪnfluəns/ | To have and use power or influence | “Celebrities wielding influence over millions must consider their impact.” | wield considerable influence, wield power, wield authority |
| emulate | verb | /ˈemjuleɪt/ | To try to equal or copy someone’s actions or achievements | “Young fans often emulate their favorite celebrities’ fashion choices and behaviors.” | emulate behavior, emulate success, seek to emulate |
| accountability | noun | /əˌkaʊntəˈbɪləti/ | The state of being responsible for one’s actions | “Public figures should accept some level of accountability for their influence.” | social accountability, personal accountability, demonstrate accountability |
| detrimental | adjective | /ˌdetrɪˈmentl/ | Causing harm or damage | “Celebrity misconduct can have detrimental effects on young viewers.” | detrimental impact, detrimental effect, potentially detrimental |
| symbiotic relationship | noun phrase | /ˌsɪmbaɪˈɒtɪk rɪˈleɪʃnʃɪp/ | A mutually beneficial relationship | “Celebrities and their fans share a symbiotic relationship built on admiration and support.” | establish a symbiotic relationship, maintain a symbiotic relationship |
| exemplify | verb | /ɪɡˈzemplɪfaɪ/ | To serve as a typical example of something | “Sports stars who support charities exemplify positive celebrity influence.” | exemplify values, exemplify behavior, exemplify excellence |
| susceptible | adjective | /səˈseptəbl/ | Likely to be influenced or affected by something | “Young audiences are particularly susceptible to celebrity influence through social media.” | susceptible to influence, highly susceptible, particularly susceptible |
| moral obligation | noun phrase | /ˈmɒrəl ˌɒblɪˈɡeɪʃn/ | A duty based on ethical principles | “Some argue celebrities have a moral obligation to promote positive values.” | fulfill a moral obligation, have a moral obligation, sense of moral obligation |
| normalize | verb | /ˈnɔːməlaɪz/ | To make something become accepted as normal | “When celebrities discuss mental health, they help normalize these important conversations.” | normalize behavior, normalize attitudes, help normalize |
| platform | noun | /ˈplætfɔːm/ | A position that provides an opportunity to express views publicly | “Social media has given celebrities an unprecedented platform to influence millions.” | use one’s platform, powerful platform, public platform |
| glorify | verb | /ˈɡlɔːrɪfaɪ/ | To make something seem better or more important than it really is | “Celebrities should avoid glorifying excessive consumption or dangerous behaviors.” | glorify violence, glorify behavior, tend to glorify |
When examining whether should celebrities accept media publicity of their private lives, these vocabulary terms become particularly useful for discussing the balance between public responsibility and personal privacy.
High-Scoring Sentence Structures
1. Complex Subordination with Concessive Clauses
Formula: While/Although + [contrasting point], [main argument]
Example from Band 8-9 essay: “While celebrities certainly deserve personal freedom and should not be held to impossibly high standards, they cannot completely disregard their influence on society.”
Why it scores well: This structure demonstrates sophisticated thinking by acknowledging complexity and showing that you can consider opposing viewpoints simultaneously. It signals to examiners that you understand nuance rather than thinking in absolutes.
Additional examples:
- “Although entertainers deserve privacy in their personal lives, their public behavior inevitably influences impressionable young audiences.”
- “While celebrities may not seek role model status deliberately, their prominence naturally positions them as influential figures.”
- “Though demanding perfection from public figures is unrealistic, expecting basic ethical awareness is reasonable.”
Common mistakes to avoid:
- ❌ “While celebrities deserve freedom, but they have responsibilities” (don’t use both “while” and “but”)
- ❌ “Although they are famous, however they are human” (don’t combine “although” with “however”)
- ✅ “Although they are famous, they are still human” OR “They are famous; however, they are still human”
2. Non-Defining Relative Clauses with Complex Ideas
Formula: [Subject] + , which/who + [additional information about the subject] + , + [main verb]
Example from Band 8-9 essay: “Parents and educators—not entertainers or athletes—should bear primary responsibility for shaping young people’s values and character development.”
Why it scores well: Non-defining clauses (enclosed by commas or dashes) add sophisticated extra information without disrupting the main sentence flow. This shows advanced control of punctuation and sentence structure.
Additional examples:
- “Social media influencers, who often lack professional media training, nonetheless wield significant influence over millions of followers.”
- “Celebrity endorsements, which can dramatically impact consumer behavior, demonstrate the power famous individuals hold over public opinion.”
- “Young fans, whose critical thinking skills are still developing, may struggle to distinguish between admirable and harmful celebrity behaviors.”
Common mistakes to avoid:
- ❌ “Celebrities, which are famous people, have influence” (use “who” for people, “which” for things)
- ❌ “Athletes who promote healthy lifestyles, inspire young people” (no comma before “inspire” – this makes it defining, not non-defining)
- ✅ “Athletes who promote healthy lifestyles inspire young people” (defining – specifies which athletes)
- ✅ “Athletes, who have significant platforms, can inspire young people” (non-defining – adds extra info about all athletes)
3. Participle Phrases for Sophisticated Cause-Effect
Formula: [Present/Past participle phrase], [subject] + [verb] + [result]
Example from Band 8-9 essay: “Imposing role model status upon them creates immense psychological pressure and may force them to suppress their genuine personalities.”
Why it scores well: Participle phrases create concise, elegant sentences by condensing what would otherwise require multiple clauses. They demonstrate grammatical range and make writing more fluid.
Additional examples:
- “Having achieved fame through their talents, celebrities often find themselves unexpectedly thrust into positions of moral authority.”
- “Recognizing their influence, responsible public figures actively promote positive messages about education and health.”
- “Faced with constant public scrutiny, many celebrities struggle to maintain authentic personal lives.”
Common mistakes to avoid:
- ❌ “Being famous, fans expect them to be perfect” (dangling modifier – “fans” aren’t famous)
- ✅ “Being famous, celebrities face expectations to be perfect”
- ❌ “Having large platforms, influence is significant” (dangling modifier – “influence” doesn’t have platforms)
- ✅ “Having large platforms, celebrities exert significant influence”
4. Cleft Sentences for Emphasis
Formula: It is [emphasized element] that/who + [rest of sentence]
Example adapted from the topic: “It is not their talent but rather their visible lifestyle choices that most powerfully influence young admirers.”
Why it scores well: Cleft sentences shift focus to the most important element of your argument, showing you can manipulate sentence structure for rhetorical effect. This demonstrates advanced writing skills beyond basic subject-verb-object patterns.
Additional examples:
- “It is through social media that modern celebrities exert their most direct influence on youth culture.”
- “It was Marcus Rashford’s campaign for free school meals that demonstrated how athletes can drive social change.”
- “It is precisely because they lack traditional qualifications that social media influencers’ role model status proves controversial.”
Common mistakes to avoid:
- ❌ “It is celebrities that they influence young people” (remove redundant “they”)
- ✅ “It is celebrities who influence young people most powerfully”
- ❌ “It is important that celebrities should being role models” (incorrect verb form)
- ✅ “It is important that celebrities should be role models” OR “It is important for celebrities to be role models”
5. Advanced Conditionals (Mixed and Inverted)
Formula: Had + [subject] + [past participle], [subject] + would/could + [present consequence]
Example: “Had celebrities not benefited financially from public admiration, the argument for their social responsibility would carry less weight.”
Why it scores well: Mixed and inverted conditionals demonstrate mastery of complex grammatical forms that many native speakers rarely use. They show sophisticated understanding of hypothetical situations and their consequences.
Additional examples:
- “Were celebrities to completely reject role model expectations, society would need to reconsider how we elevate certain individuals to fame.”
- “Should famous individuals consistently promote harmful behaviors, regulatory frameworks might become necessary to protect vulnerable audiences.”
- “Had social media not amplified celebrity influence, the debate about their responsibilities might be less urgent today.”
Common mistakes to avoid:
- ❌ “If celebrities would have been more careful, young people would benefit” (incorrect mixed conditional)
- ✅ “If celebrities had been more careful, young people would have benefited” (past consequence) OR “If celebrities had been more careful, young people would benefit” (present consequence – mixed conditional)
- ❌ “Would celebrities accept responsibility, the situation would improve” (missing auxiliary inversion)
- ✅ “Should celebrities accept responsibility, the situation would improve” (correct inversion)
6. Nominalization for Academic Tone
Formula: [Verb phrase converted to noun] + [creates/demonstrates/represents] + [result]
Example from Band 8-9 essay: “This symbiotic relationship suggests that accepting some responsibility for their influence is a reasonable expectation.”
Why it scores well: Nominalization (turning verbs into nouns) creates a more academic, formal tone appropriate for IELTS essays. It allows you to discuss actions and concepts as subjects, demonstrating sophisticated vocabulary and sentence construction.
Additional examples:
- “The glorification of excessive consumption by wealthy celebrities contributes to unrealistic expectations among young people.” (instead of “When celebrities glorify…”)
- “Their failure to acknowledge the impact of their actions demonstrates a disconnect between fame and responsibility.” (instead of “When they fail to acknowledge…”)
- “The normalization of harmful behaviors through celebrity example poses genuine risks to adolescent development.” (instead of “When celebrities normalize…”)
Common mistakes to avoid:
- ❌ Using too many nominalizations in one sentence: “The consideration of the implementation of the regulation of celebrity behavior…” (too dense)
- ✅ “Considering how to regulate celebrity behavior requires balanced implementation”
- ❌ Incorrect noun forms: “The improve of celebrity behavior”
- ✅ “The improvement of celebrity behavior” OR “Improving celebrity behavior”
Self-Assessment Checklist
Before Writing (5 minutes)
Question Analysis:
- [ ] Have I identified the question type (discussion, opinion, advantage/disadvantage, problem/solution)?
- [ ] Have I underlined all the key terms and requirements?
- [ ] Do I know exactly what the question is asking me to do?
- [ ] Have I identified how many viewpoints I need to discuss?
Planning:
- [ ] Have I brainstormed at least 2-3 ideas for each viewpoint?
- [ ] Have I thought of specific examples I can use?
- [ ] Have I decided on my clear position/opinion?
- [ ] Have I planned my paragraph structure (usually 4-5 paragraphs)?
Vocabulary Preparation:
- [ ] Can I think of topic-specific vocabulary I’ll need?
- [ ] Do I know synonyms for the key terms in the question?
- [ ] Have I reviewed relevant academic collocations?
While Writing (35 minutes)
Introduction (5 minutes):
- [ ] Have I paraphrased the question effectively without copying?
- [ ] Have I clearly outlined what my essay will discuss?
- [ ] Have I stated my position if required?
- [ ] Is my introduction 2-3 sentences (40-60 words)?
Body Paragraphs (20 minutes):
- [ ] Does each paragraph have one clear main idea?
- [ ] Have I used a clear topic sentence for each paragraph?
- [ ] Have I explained my ideas fully, not just listed them?
- [ ] Have I included specific examples or evidence?
- [ ] Have I used cohesive devices appropriately (not excessively)?
- [ ] Are my paragraphs roughly balanced in length?
- [ ] Am I varying my sentence structures?
Managing Your Position:
- [ ] Is my opinion clear throughout?
- [ ] Have I avoided contradicting myself?
- [ ] Have I supported my position with reasoning?
Language Use:
- [ ] Am I avoiding repetition by using pronouns and synonyms?
- [ ] Am I using a mix of simple and complex sentences?
- [ ] Am I keeping most sentences under 25-30 words?
- [ ] Have I used topic-specific vocabulary naturally?
Conclusion (5 minutes):
- [ ] Have I summarized my main points without introducing new ideas?
- [ ] Have I restated my position clearly?
- [ ] Is my conclusion 2-3 sentences (40-60 words)?
Technical Requirements:
- [ ] Am I writing at least 250 words?
- [ ] Am I staying focused on the topic?
- [ ] Is my handwriting legible (for paper-based tests)?
After Writing (5 minutes)
Content Check:
- [ ] Have I fully answered all parts of the question?
- [ ] Is my position clear and consistent?
- [ ] Have I developed all main ideas adequately?
- [ ] Are my examples specific and relevant?
Grammar and Vocabulary:
- [ ] Have I checked subject-verb agreement?
- [ ] Have I used correct verb tenses?
- [ ] Have I checked article usage (a/an/the)?
- [ ] Have I checked plural/singular noun forms?
- [ ] Have I used prepositions correctly?
- [ ] Have I spelled words correctly, especially key terms?
Coherence:
- [ ] Does each paragraph flow logically to the next?
- [ ] Have I used appropriate linking words?
- [ ] Have I avoided over-using the same cohesive devices?
- [ ] Do pronouns clearly refer to the correct nouns?
Common Error Checks:
- [ ] Have I avoided sentence fragments?
- [ ] Have I avoided run-on sentences?
- [ ] Have I checked for double negatives?
- [ ] Have I maintained formal academic tone throughout?
Final Technical Check:
- [ ] Have I counted my words (aim for 270-290 to be safe)?
- [ ] Have I written in paragraphs with clear indentation or spacing?
- [ ] Is my essay properly structured with introduction, body, and conclusion?
Time Management Tips
Recommended Time Allocation (40 minutes total):
- Planning: 5 minutes
- Introduction: 5 minutes
- Body paragraph 1: 8 minutes
- Body paragraph 2: 8 minutes
- Body paragraph 3 (if needed): 7 minutes
- Conclusion: 5 minutes
- Checking: 5 minutes
If Running Out of Time:
- With 10 minutes left and no conclusion: Write a brief 2-sentence conclusion immediately, then return to complete any unfinished body paragraph
- With 5 minutes left and incomplete body paragraphs: Conclude the paragraph you’re writing with a single summary sentence, skip to conclusion
- With 2 minutes left: Quick grammar check focusing only on subject-verb agreement and obvious spelling errors
Time-Saving Strategies:
- Write your thesis statement during planning so you can copy it into your introduction
- Keep examples concise (2-3 sentences maximum)
- If struggling with a word, use a simpler alternative rather than spending time trying to remember
- Practice enough that paragraph structure becomes automatic
Practice Recommendation:
Write one complete essay every 2-3 days for three weeks, timing yourself strictly. This builds both speed and quality simultaneously.
Conclusion
Mastering essays about celebrities as role models requires understanding how to balance competing perspectives while maintaining a clear position. The key differences between band scores lie not just in avoiding errors, but in demonstrating sophistication through specific examples, varied vocabulary, and complex grammatical structures used naturally and accurately.
Key Takeaways:
- Address all parts thoroughly: Discuss both viewpoints fully before presenting your opinion, ensuring roughly equal development
- Use specific examples: Replace generic references with named individuals and concrete actions
- Demonstrate vocabulary range: Move beyond common phrases to precise, topic-specific terminology
- Vary sentence structures: Combine simple and complex sentences, using advanced structures when appropriate
- Maintain clear progression: Use cohesive devices strategically to guide readers through your argument
- Show nuanced thinking: Avoid absolute statements; acknowledge complexity while maintaining a clear position
Your Path to Improvement:
- Weeks 1-2: Focus on question analysis and planning. Practice identifying what each question requires and creating detailed outlines.
- Weeks 3-4: Build vocabulary by reading Band 8-9 sample essays and noting phrases you can adapt. Create topic-specific vocabulary lists.
- Weeks 5-6: Practice writing complete essays under timed conditions, focusing on one assessment criterion per essay.
- Weeks 7-8: Refine your grammar by identifying your most common errors and doing targeted exercises.
- Weeks 9-12: Write full practice essays every 2-3 days, self-assess using the checklist, and track your improvements.
Understanding the influence of celebrities on public behavior provides valuable context for developing stronger arguments in essays on this topic.
Realistic Timeline for Improvement:
- Band 5 to Band 6: 2-3 months of consistent practice
- Band 6 to Band 7: 3-4 months focusing on accuracy and range
- Band 7 to Band 8: 4-6 months developing sophistication and precision
Take Action Now:
Start by writing your own response to the question presented in this article. Use the Band 6.5-7 essay as your target if you’re currently at Band 5-6, or aim for the Band 8-9 level if you’re already scoring Band 7. Share your essay in the comments below, and challenge yourself to identify which band score it represents and why. Regular practice with self-assessment is the most effective route to improvement.
Additional Resources:
- Official IELTS band descriptors (available on ielts.org)
- Cambridge IELTS practice test books (11-18) for authentic questions
- British Council writing samples for comparison
- Academic journals and quality newspapers to build vocabulary naturally
Remember, improvement comes from understanding not just what to write, but why certain approaches score higher. Analyze your own writing with the same critical eye you’ve developed reading these sample essays, and you’ll see consistent progress toward your target band score.