IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Essays: Data Privacy and Trust in Digital Age with Band Score Analysis

Here’s the meta description: Explore how The impact of data privacy on trust shapes IELTS Writing Task 2 responses. Analyze band-scored sample essays and learn key strategies for discussing digital privacy regulations.
Data privacy and trust concept illustration showing digital security measures

Data privacy and trust have become increasingly common themes in IELTS Writing Task 2, appearing in approximately 15% of recent exam questions. This topic’s relevance continues to grow as importance of digital privacy in the age of social media becomes more critical. Let’s examine a recent exam question and analyze sample responses across different band scores.

Data privacy and trust concept illustration showing digital security measuresData privacy and trust concept illustration showing digital security measures

Task Analysis

Some people believe that governments should strictly regulate how companies collect and use personal data. Others think companies should be free to collect data to improve their services. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

This question requires candidates to:

  • Discuss arguments for government regulation of data collection
  • Examine benefits of unrestricted data collection
  • Present and justify a personal viewpoint

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8.5)

The debate over why governments should regulate the use of personal data has intensified in recent years. While some advocate for strict governmental control, others support corporate freedom in data collection. I believe a balanced approach with robust regulations is essential.

Proponents of governmental regulation argue that strict oversight is crucial for protecting individual privacy. Without proper controls, companies might exploit personal information for profit, potentially compromising sensitive data. For instance, recent data breaches at major tech companies have exposed millions of users’ private information, demonstrating the risks of inadequate regulation. Additionally, strict guidelines ensure transparency and accountability in how organizations handle consumer data.

However, those favoring corporate freedom contend that unrestricted data collection enables better service delivery and innovation. Companies can analyze user behavior patterns to enhance product features and customer experience. For example, mobile banking security and privacy has improved significantly through analysis of transaction patterns and user behaviors.

In my view, while data collection is valuable for business development, robust government oversight is essential. A framework balancing innovation with privacy protection would best serve society’s interests. This could include mandatory data protection measures while allowing companies reasonable access to necessary information.

Sample Essay 2 (Band 6.5)

The collection and use of personal data by companies is a controversial topic today. Some people think governments should control it strictly, while others believe companies should be free to collect data.

People who support government control think it’s important to protect privacy. When companies collect too much data, it can be dangerous for people. Many companies have had their data stolen by hackers, which shows why we need rules. Also, some companies sell personal information to other businesses without permission.

On the other hand, companies say they need data to make their services better. They use information about customers to improve products and make new features. For example, shopping websites use data to recommend products that customers might like.

I think both sides have good points, but government control is more important. Companies should be allowed to collect some data, but there should be clear rules about what they can collect and how they can use it. This will help protect people while still letting businesses improve their services.

Band Score Analysis

Band 8.5 Essay:

  • Sophisticated vocabulary: “proponents,” “oversight,” “accountability”
  • Complex sentence structures
  • Clear progression of ideas
  • Well-developed arguments with specific examples
  • Coherent paragraphing
  • Effective use of linking devices

Band 6.5 Essay:

  • Adequate vocabulary with some repetition
  • Simple but clear sentence structures
  • Basic organization of ideas
  • Limited use of examples
  • Some linking devices
  • Less sophisticated argument development

Key Vocabulary

  1. oversight (n) /ˈəʊvəsaɪt/ – supervision or watchful care
  2. transparency (n) /trænsˈpærənsi/ – openness and clarity
  3. exploitation (n) /ˌeksplɔɪˈteɪʃn/ – unfair use of something for profit
  4. compliance (n) /kəmˈplaɪəns/ – acting according to rules
  5. accountability (n) /əˌkaʊntəˈbɪləti/ – responsibility to someone or for some action

For practice, try writing your own essay on this topic and share it in the comments. Consider also exploring related topics like should students learn about digital privacy to broaden your understanding of this important issue.

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